January 24, 2009

Not My Original Plan

We have recently received 2 letters from Ab's family.

I must admit when I started the adoption process last January, this was not in my original plan of how our adoption would be. In fact, when we received our referral and the paperwork said that both his mother and father was still alive, I was shocked.

I called our caseworker and asked all of those questions that you can imagine were floating around in my head. Why are they giving him up? Why can't we just help them? Are they sure? Is there anything we can do? etc. etc.

I was told that yes, they were offered help....yes, they are sure....and that their poverty is so extreme (at a level that we can't possibly understand) that this is the decision that they have had to make to ensure that their child has a hope and a future. When there are no government programs to help you when you are unemployed, no WIC, no food stamps, no medicaid and on and on. Put this with their ill health, you can begin to understand their heartache.

After meeting them, I know that they are beautiful people who love their son....and God softened my heart.

Instead of feeling like they are an intrusion, I long for and welcome their letters. Instead of feeling like it is a burden to send them updates, I want them to know every detail possible. Instead of feeling threatened from their presence, I feel blessed and loved.

While it may be easy for some to judge their choice (yes, I have come face to face with those who have) we do not understand their predicament or heartache, because most of us will never be faced with such a decision.

May God bless them for their love and sacrifice.


  1. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for the poverty stricken who've taken the steps to do the best thing they can to ensure their children's future. This is so heavy! Thank you for forging the way, giving them hope and helping me to put words to my feelings.

  2. This gives me hope that we could have such a positive outcome to such a terribly heartbreaking situation!! Thank you for your post. It gives hope to my confusion and gives light to such a dark reality!


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