March 2, 2009

Reality of Being Tired and Evaluating Life

I am tired. Winter tends to tire me out anyways. I don't do well being cold. My husband says I am grouchy when I am cold! :)

Day to day life is tiring me out too. A pre-teen dealing with the reality of life and people aren't always who they say they are and 2 elementary children competing for my attention. Middle school Josh is just hanging out and building legos. We call him our ' mad scientist' down in his room. :)

Ab walks around all day saying 'momma' (put this in the doll voice that I know you are imagining). He still inhales his food and constantly measures food, drink, whatever to Rachel or the others.. We are having to be extra vigilant with any TV because he believes anything he sees to be real. We are having to still explain at least once a day why we can't go to Ethiopia right now. He likes to pretend not to know stuff during school time so that I will spend more time with him. We have a conversation usually once a day on what is a lie and what isn't. He still clings at home.

I have for the last week begun to examine my activities and life. Even though I cut back when we started the adoption process, I think some more pruning is in order. I am so busy doing this or that, that when we are home, I am not connecting like I should with any of the kids. That is especially not good for Ab. We both need some more connecting and learning about each other. Our whole family needs this.

Pray for me, that I am wise, patient, and filled with God's love.

Crazy thing ?? As tired and stretched as I am, I just told a friend that I'd start the adoption process again in a heartbeat. It can be a bumpy road and a tiring one and even at times a lonely one...but I wouldn't trade it for anything. God has taught me so much through this process and is refining my heart in more ways than I thought possible.

2 comments:

  1. I feel that same ache of fatigue. I commented to my husband the other day, didn't we used to do more than just watch TV and read books after the kids are down? It seems I only have energy for that! Pretty pathetic.

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  2. Maybe this evaluation you're doing is a fruit of Lent. I've been evaluating, too. After about two days, I wondered if it'd take me the rest of my life to make the changes needed! 'But God who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it!'

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