August 27, 2009

A Life of Paradoxes

My life is full of paradoxes. The last two years have opened my eyes in more ways than I could ever have imagined. God has used many people and places to enable me to see what He sees….to let me feel what He feels. To let me love whom He loves.

I sat in church last Sunday and my mind was racing. Then one thought ran across my brain that gave me pause. I am stuck between two worlds. Yes, I know that we as Christians are not of this world. We are aliens and strangers. We are to long for our heavenly home. Yet living that out here and now is a challenging adventure.

I have strong desire to sell everything I have and move to place where I can live among the least of these. Yet, I also have those crazy worldly urges-- like spending $4000 (on credit) on something that is totally unnecessary. (and no we didn’t thanks to a practical hubby who will pray about every purchase)

I feel a call to start school to work towards a degree in social work to fulfill dreams……but I also want to spend the time I have volunteering with organizations that I am already involved in. If there were only 36 hours in a day!

I want to teach my children to be grateful and thankful for what they have and make them aware of what others don’t have….yet sometimes I know I end up making them feel guilty for what they have. Not my intentions…but I know it happens.

Some days I want to throw the tv out and be done with the filth and indoctrination it brings. Yet on a lot of nights, I love a good crime show.

There are times I want to bask in God’s glow and just sit and enjoy His presence, His warmth, His love. Other times I want to fight the good fight for Him and accomplish all that I can in His strength. Certain instances, I feel like the child whose dad just taught how to swim --that swims up to her daddy so excited at what she just learned and finally accomplished…

Some Sundays I am so frustrated with ‘church’ and all of the struggles with it and other Sundays I look around and think “what would I do without these people?" and want to have a major group hug!

Being a Jesus follower and going against the flow of the world can mess with you at times.

Quite honestly, some days it is really hard knowing what really goes in certain parts of the world--knowing what really goes in our little area of the world.

Sometimes it hurts to love what He loves and hate what He hates. You know, where you feel like you heart is going to literally break, and you have to do SOMETHING…ANYTHING…

Oh, God, speak…your daughter is listening….

August 16, 2009

One Year Celebration!

This past Saturday we had our One Year Celebration with Abenezer.  Lots of friends and lots of ethiopian food, including himbasha, injera, doro wat and siga wat…..Ab’s favorites!

It was great to have so many people there that walked the journey closely with us.  And my house smelled oh so good!  The next morning it still smelled like Ethiopia!

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Ab showing off his major scab from the bicycle wreck.

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August 11, 2009

First Meeting...A year ago!

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How do you measure a year?

Our referral pictures from June 2008.

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A year has gone by since Ab and I first met.  Sunday marked that day !  We talked about that and he told me he was thinking “Am I supposed to go home with her?  I don’t know..”  Who knows what his little mind was thinking!

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The last year has had a lot of up and downs and a lot of lessons learned.  About love.  About selfishness. About selflessness.  About choices.  About hidden fears.  About expectations.  About grace. About forgiveness. About ourselves. About God.

A journey that I would take again in a heartbeat.

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