January 13, 2013

Let our little girls be little girls

Can we chat?

This has been something that has been weighing heavy on my heart for a while from what I am seeing everywhere: schools, homeschool groups, churches, stores..etc.

The ‘growing up’ of our little girls.  The rush to push them ahead. Grow them up. Make them mini grown women.

Now..to add some disclaimers.

#1  I don’t have it all figured out. At all. Anyone who knows me knows that. So this isn’t a lecture or a judgment. Just a mom sharing her concern and her heart. So PLEASE do not take it as such.

#2  I am not talking about responsibilities or chores or maturity levels. Yes, children need those and yes, “way back when”  they had a lot more responsibilities and ‘grew up’ a lot quicker. But….I am never one to hold tightly to something just because that’s the way they did it “way back when” (we can all think of things that we are glad didn’t stay the same) and also things were different back then as well. Very different.

Now..back to our girls.


Can we let them just have their make believe and their dolls for a little while longer?  Do we have to rush them to ‘teen world’ so soon?  Make up, body hugging clothing, texting, and boys?

Can we let them enjoy their tree houses, nature finds, and bikes for a couple more years?


Let’s not encourage them in the boy craze where their hearts are broken and self esteem is crushed.  Instead, let’s encourage them in discovering who they are, trying new things, and developing who they are in the Lord.

Let’s make sure they know that their self esteem comes from God and who they are in Him--- a beautiful creation from His hand that He loves and cherishes.

If they need to date so early, send them on a date with Dad (or Grandpa) —let him teach them the type of guy that they should be looking for.  If there is no significant male in their life to do that--- Mom..you then teach them by setting that example yourself.

Here is my real concern.

As humans..we always want the next thing…the next game, the next fad, the next big electronic product, the next movie…

If our girls are growing up so fast and being allowed to do things so early…what will be their ‘next thing?’

Let’s not burden them with those responsibilities and temptations so early.

“And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the floor and set it on the floor.
Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
It's too heavy," I said.
Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”
Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place


  1. Love this post! I'm mom to 5 boys and this is the kind of girl I want them to find one day. One that was allowed to be a girl... We try to do the same thing w/ our boys. Allow them time to grow.

  2. Well said! That is exactly how I feel and exactly what I'm doing with my 7 girls. There is plenty of time for them to get into other things when they're older, much older!

  3. Great post! My niece drools over my girls doll babies when she comes to our house, she doesn't have any because her mom says she's too old to have dolls to play with. (She's 10) Our culture is so sad.

  4. Completely agree, and will also extend it to my son. He's almost 13 and I love that he still plays with legos, his baseball cards, his scooter, and the like. I used to teach Middle School and so many of the boys were already so interested in girls, relationships, etc. I love the innocence of my son and hope it continues for a long while. Yes, we give him responsibilities around the house as my husband and father want to to teach him to be a capable young man, but the other stuff will come in time. My oldest step-daughter is now 23 and married, and she used to hate how we would not let her date alone, really only allowed her to go to youth group outings, etc., but now she so appreciates it as she has seen friends experience such emotional hurt from broken relationships encouraged way too early. Our second oldest is 18 and we have had the same rules for her and I believe what the world would consider our "over-protection" has been the best thing for her as well. When I read my facebook wall and I see my friends posting pictures of their children's boyfriends when their daughter is only 12 years old, allowing them to come on family trips and the like, it worries me. Why encourage this so early? Maybe I'm a prude, but I just don't understand it. Just my 2 cents and thanks for writing this thought provoking post.

  5. I love this Charisa! Your awesome. This is one of my favorite quotes out of The Hiding Place. Love you and hope your doing great!


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